I’m Esther Nagle
I’ve been meaning to write this page for ages…. But I kept procrastinating….
Hello. I am Esther. I was diagnosed with ADHD in November 2019, at the tender age of 46! I had worked it out a couple of years previously, but confirmation (and Concerta) were good to have!
Those 4 letters allowed me to make sense of my entire life. I saw myself so clearly in the list of traits of ADHD, it was as if someone had observed me and written a pen portrait of me.
The restlessness. The multitude of new hobbies and passions that seemed to fizzle away as soon as they began. The virtually non existent self esteem. The CV that looks like the work of a child playing with the ‘people at work’ dressing up box. The inability to stop myself dancing in supermarkets. The ‘previous addresses’ list that gives an inking of my desire to wander and travel, but I have barely left my home town! The substance abuse and addiction. The opportunities lost and wasted. Friendships lost, or discarded over some perceived wrong I thought I had done, but never thought to check. Messy house, credit card debts, reckless disregard for my wellbeing or future security.
And the rest. You get the picture. I sometimes think I am less person, and more ‘walking manifestation of the DSM diagnostic criteria for ADHD’!
I thought it was all my fault. That somehow I was simply a failure of a human being, that I didn’t really deserve success, love or happiness, no matter how much potential I seemed to have. That I was basically flawed and just plain wrong.
Coming home to me
My path to healing, to sobriety and recovery, to self esteem, self care and better domestic skills began several years ago with the discovery of Yoga. And it is Yoga that helps me manage the whirlpools that my ADHD brain creates on a moment by moment basis.
Learning to breathe, to relax, to release physical and mental tension, to accept life as it is, to accept and forgive myself, and to be able to look at myself and my life with compassion, gratitude and a desire to learn from my mistakes are all gifts that Yoga gave me.
Training to teach Yoga in 2014 after a breakdown the previous year was almost certainly the best decision I ever made. It saved me, showing me a path to better, happier, healthier living that helped me get and stay sober with ease, allowed me to heal and forgive so much pain from my past, and to finally look in the mirror and smile at the woman I see there with love.
I know that there is so much in Yoga teachings that can be of tremendous help to the woman with ADHD. In the Yoga Sutras, Maharishi Patanjali tells us that
‘Yoga is the cessation of the whirlpools of the subconscious mind’
If there is one thing I know for sure about the ADHD brain, it is that there are whirlpools within whirlpools inside our minds. Anything that eases the whirls even a little bit has to be worth a try!
From Madness to Mission
Since 2014 when Yoga became my unexpected addiction recovery program, I knew that there was a purpose and a mission to my life. That even if it wasn’t that ‘everything happens for a reason’, that I could and MUST take the struggles I had overcome, and the ways I had found to overcome them, and use that learning to help others.
In true ADHD style, this has led to several ideas, including focusing on addiction, workplace wellbeing, and supporting single mothers. None of these ideas came to anything much, apart from the publication of my book about my recovery journey. I was beginning to think I would never find my mission and purpose. Or maybe I had and I’d blown it somewhere along the way.
And then I joined Tracy Otsuka’s ‘Your ADHD Brain is A-OK’ programme during the madness of lockdown, and my life changed.
I learned to see my strengths, my passions, my values and my superpowers. I learned to focus on my positive aspects, and work around the more challenging traits.
I swear to God I even got thinner and more beautiful thanks to that course. Or if not, I at least see myself completely differently now!
And I realised, with dazzling clarity, that my favourite people, the people I would love most of all to work with, are women with ADHD.
We are AMAZING. We are bright, funny, creative, innovative, energetic, passionate, fearless, creative sparks of wonderment. I know we have some huge challenges to overcome because of the way our brains work, but when we can get a grip on our emotions, focus and energy, we are un-fucking-stoppable!
And I want to help women just like that. Just like you! Just like me!
I know what it is like to be a slave to your emotions. To be so anxious about all the ways that you don’t seem to fit in the world that you can barely function. To know you have so much potential, but be paralysed by fear, overwhelm and procrastination.
I can help with this. Through the tried and tested practices of Yoga, I can help you learn to recognise, manage and work with your emotions. I can help you get better sleep at night. I can guide you to learn more about yourself, and learn to see yourself with greater compassion and self love.
Let’s get still and be wild together
I would love to hear from you about your experiences of ADHD, the challenges you face, the workarounds you have found, and the treasures you have found in your wild mind!
Please get in touch, I will respond to all emails!* (* and if I don’t, please be assured, it’s not you, it’s my ADHD!)